Past Tense
by Alie365
Summary: Sirius, during TOOTP made me think Tonks' mother was dead: 'she was my favourite cousin'. However, I realised that Tonks mentions her in the present tense. Hence, a oneshot between Harry and Sirius. Not my best work ever, but not bad either.


Past Tense A neat little oneshot concerning something I observed in 'the Order of the Phoenix.

Something had been bothering Harry about his godfather all day, and he couldn't for the life of him figure out what. There was a niggling feeling that something that he said to him earlier was wrong, that it didn't make sense. That night in bed, however, he realised what it was. Swinging his legs out of bed, he picked up his glasses from the bedside table, and put them on. Then, moving quietly so he didn't wake up Ron, he opened the door, and went to look for Sirius.

After a few wrong doors (he nearly had a heart attack when he thought he had woken up Mrs. Weasley), he heard a noise from downstairs. Carefully making his way down the main staircase, he headed through the hall (careful not to wake up Mrs. Black), into the kitchen, and wasn't surprised to find his godfather awake. He had had a feeling that Sirius didn't have an easy time sleeping in general.

"Harry!" Sirius looked up, surprised at seeing his godson. "What are you doing awake, it's… two in the morning"

"I just wanted to talk to you, about something you said earlier"

"Well come in, sit down." Harry went into the room, and sat down at the kitchen table.

"Which room are you staying in, Sirius? I was looking for it before I heard you down here."

"My own room, from back in the day." Sirius cast a distasteful look at his surroundings, "Never thought I'd end up back there. But I couldn't really face the thought of staying in one of the other rooms either. My bedroom was the only place where I could get any privacy, while I lived here. That didn't mean I wasn't glad to leave it, though. So," pulling himself up straighter, Sirius observed Harry seriously, "what is it that's got you so bothered that you're sneaking round the house in the middle of the night." Harry decided that he would get straight to the point.

"Earlier, when you were telling me about your family tree, you said that Tonks' mum was your favourite cousin."

"Mmhm." Sirius nodded.

"Well, why did you say 'was'? I talked to Tonks when she and the others came to get me from my aunt and uncle's, and she said that her mum has a way of putting things away with magic so that they all fold up neatly." Sirius smiled.

"She was always cleaning up after us, Andromeda. She'd get messy as hell during our games, but everything had to be tidy afterwards"

"But you talked about her like she wasn't around any more. Like she was your favourite cousin, but now she's not. But she's still alive, cause Tonks mentioned her. If she's still alive, how come you..."

"Why do I think of her like she's not?" Harry nodded. Sirius rubbed his face with his hands. Suddenly he looked very tired. "When I was in Azkaban, I knew that I would never get out again. Everyone I cared for was lost to me; all of them thought me a murderer. It became easier to think of each of them in the past tense"

"But, why haven't you seen her since then?" Sirius looked startled at the idea, then became thoughtful.

"I don't honestly know. Although, it's not as if I can just turn up at her place and say 'Hey cuz, long time no see. You fancy a cuppa?'" He became quiet again for a moment. "It's likely that Tonks hasn't told her about me. She might not even know her daughter is in the Order. It's possible she wouldn't approve. She wasn't willing to get involved with us last time. She said she had a young child, and she would not actively put herself in harms way. So at the moment, a reunion is looking unlikely. And until I see her again, if I do, it's much easier to think of the relationship we once had, rather than dwell on the lack of one that we have now." Sirius looked sad, and Harry nodded. He understood now.

"You've got us, Sirius, don't forget. You said before that just because they were related to you, doesn't mean they're your family. You could always talk to Tonks though, ask her whether her mother knows about the Order, or you"

"It's a thought. I never held out much hope of seeing Andromeda again. It would be nice to catch up. It would be nice for her to know that I'm not a murderer."Sirius looked bitter for a moment. Then he looked up at his godson, and grinned,"Now go to bed, Harry. I'm sure that Molly will come and wake you up bright and early to continue the 'cleaning'."

"Night, Sirius" Smiling, Harry headed back to bed.

Since J.K. mentions in the 7th book that Harry had never been in Sirius' room before, I edited this for continuity. However, I fiddled it so I kept in the lines about why Sirius was staying in his old room, since I liked them.


End file.
